Comments (Brad Linzy
You don’t have to be a
Transylvanian transvestite to see why 1975’s Rocky Horror Picture Show has survived the decades as a cult classic
celebration of B-movie cheese. Perhaps due to its resilient popularity through
the decades, Rocky Horror deserves a
better grade than “B.” Perhaps, in consideration of the creative way in which
fans over the years have decided to express their appreciation and
participation in the film, a B+ or even a strong A- is in order.
Whatever grade we give it, on October 3rd at 11:00 p.m. (doors at 9:30 p.m.) Mesker
Amphitheatre will host a showing of the film, which, frankly turns into
more of a motley, freakish gathering than a mere “showing.” In this classic piece of mid-Seventies cinematography, which
prominently features an early, Dr. Frankensteinesque Tim Curry in garter belts
and a black corset performing raunchy, hermaphroditic numbers and overacting to
the point of being awesome, fans participate in a number of ways - from suggestive
dress, to the seemingly random throwing of objects like toilet paper rolls and
rice, to the unanimous bursting into the “Time Warp” dance, to the yelling out
of lines in unison.
In observance of this momentous occasion and the
confusion that can arise within the feeble minds of neophytes, I thought it
appropriate to extend to you, my adoring readership, a survival manual of all
you’ll need to know in order to fully enjoy yourself at Rocky Horror and not
feel like an idiot when you’re the last person to reach for the bag of rice.
Dress 101:As politicians have
discovered long ago, it’s not so much what
you do as how you look doing it. In observance of this principle, getting your
costume in order should be a priority. If you cannot exactly mimic the
appearance of one of the characters on screen, at least making an attempt at
dressing slutty and calling yourself an “extra” is better than no attempt at
all, but in case you are a stickler for detail, below are a couple examples of
how you should consider dressing for the occasion. Since this is a movie about
transvestites, costumes are not gender specific.
Note the liberal use of eye
makeup and lipstick and the necessity of garters and fishnets in the Frank
getup. Also, pearls are a nice touch. Your other option in being Frank is to
dress in a green, blood-smeared smock with rubber gloves, which is surprisingly
hard to come by. Above all, be creative. If you can’t find something,
improvise!
Object Throwing/Prop Usage 101:
Rice:
Not of the Condoleeza
variety. This seemingly non-aerodynamic grain becomes a formidable projectile
during the wedding scene at the movie’s opening, unfortunately, rumor has it
uncooked rice can make birds explode when they eat it, so since Mesker is
outdoors, substitute birdseed instead. Throw your birdseed along with the
people on the screen. TIP: Do not hurl the
seed. Instead, let it simply roll off your fingers in a non-threatening manner
that says, “Hey, guy in front of me, I’m not trying to kill you with my seed.”
Newspaper:
The Courier-Press should love
this part, as it calls for you to cover your head with a newspaper at precisely
the moment Brad and Janet get caught in the rainstorm. TIP: Unless you’re one of those anal people who insist on complete
conformity to the movie, you can substitute your News 4U for the newspaper.
Water Pistols:
During the same scene with
the rain, shoot your trusty super-soaker into the air with reckless abandon to
simulate the rain. It is perhaps the only time you’ll be able to do so at a
movie, enjoy it while it lasts. TIP:
After the film, any leftover water can be used to hose down your entourage.
Lighters and Flashlights
During the song “Over at the
Frankenstein’s Place,” at the part that goes “There’s A Light,” this is the
time to use your lighting implements. TIP:
Cell phones are a useful substitute for lighters or flashlights.
Rubber Gloves:
Curry’s character Frank
snaps his gloves three times during his speech about the creation of Rocky.
These gloves are later removed. Snap your gloves in unison with the film. TIP: Rubber gloves also come in handy for
gardening or prostate exams.
Applause/Noise:
At the end of the
aforementioned speech by Frank, it is your queue to burst into applause and
guttural noise.
Confetti:
At the end of the “Charles
Atlas Song,” we again see an unlikely and mostly harmless shower of miniature
of projectiles being emitted from the crowd. TIP: Use of torn up, unpaid bills, while not particularly wise in the
long term, can be exquisitely satisfying in the short.
Toilet Paper:
When you hear Brad say
“great scott,” prepare to be hit on the head by at least one roll of Scott’s
brand paper towels or toilet paper. TIP:
Try to rescue as many of the rolls from the floor as possible. That sh*t’s
expensive! And if you get enough, you won’t have to buy it for a month,
depending on how regular you are.
Toast:
While News 4U does not
condone the rampant waste of perfectly good bread while some people in the
world are starving to death, people have been known to hurl toast into the air
at the precise moment at dinner when Frank proposes a toast. TIP: Don’t eat toast that’s been on the
floor. Trick is to catch it in midair. Of course, there is a three second rule
in effect, but you really don’t know in which “pocket” that toast was smuggled
in considering not many people seem to be sporting pockets. Eat at your own
risk.
Party Hat:
When Frank puts on his party
hat at dinner, emulate with a party hat of your own. Luckily, you always carry
one on you in case of emergencies.
Bell:
During the song “Planet
Schmanet Janet,” when Frank sings about hearing a bell, you should bang a
gong…just to be silly. Everyone else will be ringing a bell.
Playing Cards:
During the song “I’m Going
Home,” when Frank sings “cards for sorrow, cards for pain,” throw a deck of
cards into the air. TIP: Please remember
to take them out of the pack first. And be careful, while not carrying
sufficient mass to do any serious damage, a card can still leave an annoying
paper cut if you’re a trained card thrower.
The
only other thing you really should know to get started in the participation is
anytime you hear the name “Brad Majors” in the film, it is customary to yell
out the word “asshole,” same custom as when you hear the name “Brad Linzy” in
real life. Enjoy the Rocky Horror Picture
Show!
Tickets for the show can be had for $5 in advance or $7 the day of the show. Prop bags can be bought for an additional $3 that contain everything you need.
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Fishnet StockingsYou can find garters and fishnets at Exotica on
