Comments (Brad Linzy
September 22nd is the astrological start of
autumn, but there are plenty of good times yet to be squeezed out of the last
vestiges of summer, many of which support a good cause! Here are your
Bulletpoints…
Loverboy in
You loved them then like you hate to admit you still love
them today. In spite of sporting a name that sounds like a cabaret act at the
local transsexuals-only strip club, Eighties hit makers Loverboy can still
bring the rock, and every donut you spin in the Wal-Mart parking lot in your
’76 Camaro has a “Workin’ For the Weekend” soundtrack to it. Now if only you
could accept why, in spite of following the 1982 edition of Funk and Wagnall’s Manual of Cool* to the letter, all the kids
still think you’re “too old.” Then maybe
you could get past what your therapist keeps calling your “second childhood”
and get on with the important business of slowly dying in a world of mundaneity
– even though Webster’s Online Dictionary says that’s not a word.
Before your
therapist “cures” you completely and you resign yourself to that awful fate
that is adult maturity, why not check out one last Loverboy show down at the
*In spite of my best efforts to track one down, there is no
such book as “Funk and Wagnall’s Manual of Cool.” Sorry.
St. Baldrick’s
Naked Noggins
On September 13-14, Ri-Ra’s Irish Pub entreats you to let
your hair down…way down, as they
raise money for St. Balderick’s Foundation, a children’s cancer charity that
has raised over $16.5 million for cancer research in 2008 alone. These events
consist of volunteer barbers who shave the heads of those who make a donation
to the cause. Do you have to shave your pretty locks to contribute? Not
necessarily. You could volunteer to be a head shaver, or make a general
donation at the St. Balderick’s website: www.stbaldricks.org. You can also
sponsor others so that when they shave their heads, the foundation makes more
money.
The Ri-Ra’s
event has grown into a two-day-long music and head-shaving extravaganza with
some of the finest tri-state bands taking part. JEB, Quinn, Deaf Megan, Chad
Harvey, Bobby Clark, Rich Hardesty, Fisticuffs, The Blaggarts, Bamboo Needle,
and The Rowan Tree will all take the stage to entertain the Mr. And Mrs. Cleans
in the audience. The music and shavings begin at 11 a.m. There is no cover
charge, Uncle Scrooge, but a donation wouldn’t kill you. Besides, studies have
shown that 97.2% of women are turned on by men who help out children’s
charities* …something to do with the maternal instinct.
*Like 97.2% of all statistics, this one is completely
made-up, but had you nonetheless convinced.
The Van-Dells
Perform “Water for People” Benefit
It might sound like some
kind of revolutionary battle cry, but Water for People is much more than just
another misguided “save the planet” non-profit. They have a narrow and specific
purpose: to help teach people the world over to provide clean water for themselves. The organization,
through fundraisers just like the one coming up on the 18th,
provides some of the raw materials and teaches people to make water filters and
hygienic piping that stop some of the microscopic contaminants and water borne
bacteria that, according to some estimates, kill nearly 7,000 people a day,
mostly small children.
The September 18th Evansville Coliseum event will
feature the oldies music performers, The Van-Dells. The Van-Dells’ performance
has been described as a high-energy 50s and 60s rock and roll music review
complete with costumes and choreography.
In addition to the music, the concert will feature a
(cash only) wine and beer bar. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door.
They are available at Donut Bank locations, First Federal Savings Banks in
Conquer Chiari Walk Across America
If you have to ask,
“what’s ‘chiari,’” you’re not alone. Chiari is a neurological disorder where
the brain descends out of the skull, putting pressure on the spine; in other
words, it’s a debilitating disease with which you really don’t want to be
afflicted. It effects about 300,000 people in the U.S., and diagnosis is often
difficult.
Two Evansville moms and decades-long sufferers of the
disease are organizing the Indiana leg of the non-profit organization’s Walk
Across America campaign to raise awareness and money to improve the lives of
chiari sufferers. The Walk will start at the south entrance to Garvin Park.
Registration begins at noon and the walk begins at 1 p.m. Everyone is invited
to participate. A $20 minimum donation is appreciated. T-shirts will be given
to those who pre-register online and make a donation of $20 or more.
For more information on this worthwhile event, to make an
absentee donation, or to sign up for a $100 corporate sponsorship, contact
Monica at 401-6555 or Tharilyn at 568-9029.
Office Olympics on
Main Street
Yeeeeaaaah…if you could
just go ahead and move your desk as far against that back wall as you can,
that’d be great. Oh…and I’m gonna need you to stay late Thursday afternoon,
September 25th…the consultants we hired said moral is low and we
could use few more team-building activities…thaaaaaaanks.
This is one company function that you might actually
enjoy burning another Thursday night usually spent on your apartment floor
weeping. In fact, it’s so cool sounding, you
should get the ball rollin’ on it. Here’s how…
You
know those embarrassing pics you’ve been saving of your very drunk boss at last
year’s Christmas party…the ones you knew would come in handy sooner or later,
but were saving as icing on a legendary Fight-Club-style confrontation in his
office? It might be as good of a time as any to go ahead and cash them in. Send
an email – a “black” email, as it were – threatening to post them on a website
you’ve created called BadBossesGoneWild.com if he doesn’t cough up $50 for a
“team building” exercise so you and four of your paper-airplane-creating office
buddies can test your physical and mental prowess against teams from around the
tri-state – including a team from that loser company down the street. You know
the one…the one that sells superior products at cheaper prices and wins all
those pretentious civic awards every year. They’re losers. You know it. Your
team knows it. And now it’s time for everyone else in Evansville to know it
when you mop Main Street with their candy asses at this year’s Office Olympics!
Most of them are definitely pushovers, but you’re really
not too sure about that one dude on their team – the one with the nerdy
glasses. He might win in a battle to find the fastest “blue screen of death”
fix, but you’re pretty sure you could take him in a trashcan free throw, so it
evens out. And when it comes to paperweight shot put and improvised rubber band
flinging, you know you are the man!
Contact Jocee Gleason at GAGE, 424-2986, to reserve your
team’s spot, and, more importantly, your place in the shrine of office
immortality. For those who simply want to spectate, you can do that too, but
don’t be surprised when everyone calls you a wuss to your face.
Back to September 2008 Features
