Georgia on Everyone’s M-M-Mind…Even Tom Clancy’s?

[www.gamespot.com]

“Bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways to conduct foreign policy in the 21st century." Those were the words of President Bush on the Russian response to Georgia’s invasion of the independent territories of South Ossetia and Abkhazia.

While I personally applaud the President for what sounds like a 180° turnaround in our own foreign policy, every news agency in America seems to be looking at the conflict in and around the former Soviet state of Georgia through the Vaseline-smeared lens of Washington talking points.

            Leaving aside the blame game of who is ultimately responsible for what appears to be a move back toward a Cold War posture between Russia and the U.S., it might interest my readers to know that gaming forums and even some national press are now abuzz with intrigue that this conflict was more or less predicted by a videogame. In Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon, which was released by Ubisoft in 2001, an elite detachment of U.S. troops called the “Ghosts” fight alongside NATO allies against South Ossetian rebel forces. The Russian government complains that the U.S. is interfering in their affairs and they eventually send in their troops to aid the South Ossetian fighters. The U.S. cannot stop the Russian invasion of Georgia, so the “Ghosts” are charged with slowing down the enemy until all allies can be evacuated, including the deposed Georgian government, which is exiled to Geneva. The storyline escalates from there with a Russian takeover of the entire Caucuses region and an eventual attack on the capital of Moscow by NATO forces. The timeframe for this conflict in the game: 2008.

            Georgia is also the setting of Ubisoft’s 2002 game Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell, in which players take on the role of a secret NSA agent who uses guerrilla, even terrorist-style tactics to assassinate, disrupt, and destroy enemy targets inside the former Soviet state.

Officially, as of this writing, the U.S. is not actively involved in the Russo-Georgian conflict, but independent military news agency Stars and Stripes has reported that there are 100 or fewer military trainers currently in Georgia, through which a strategic oil pipeline passes.

 $1 Buys House in Detroit

[www.detnews.com]

It might not exactly be beachfront property in SoCal, but some foreclosed properties in Detroit can be attractive buys these days. The Detroit News has reported that due to the rapid looting of empty, foreclosed properties in some Detroit neighborhoods, banks are seeing no other financially sensible alternative than to sell the homes for as a little as $1, and in many cases pay the buyer’s closing costs, the realtor fees, back taxes, and any accumulated bills the previous owner skipped out on.

            In the case of the house at 8111 Traverse St. in Detroit, the bank payed out a total of $10,000 just to sell the dilapidated property, reportedly once the nicest house on the street located near the Detroit City Airport, for $1. The house had previously sold for $65,000 in 2006.

            "It doesn't make sense in some neighborhoods to keep paying costs and costs. It can make more financial sense to give it away," said Kent Colpaert, the listing real estate agent for the Traverse St. property. "I've never seen a home listed for $1," he added.

            A $1 investment here can quickly escalate, with the estimated cost of restoring the gutted homes reaching the tens of thousands and the price of demolition at around $5000. But even with a fully restored property, a prospective owner would still have vandals, looters, and crackheads to contend with, and the rapidly shrinking job prospects present in Detroit. I’d just as soon choke myself with my own spleen as live in Detroit. Thanks but no thanks. I’ll keep my depreciating dollar.

Cops Show Off Magnetic Personalities

[www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk]

The Manchester Evening News in the UK has reported that a task force in the English town of Oldham accidentally broke into the wrong house while searching for a parole violator. While they were away, the task force broke down the door of the house where Aaron West, his partner Leeanne Baker, and their two-year-old son Leighton had moved 11 days prior.

            What makes this case unusual is not the fact that the cops got the wrong house; that actually happens more than one might think. A 2003 case in NYC saw an elderly woman suffer a heart attack as police wrongfully raided her home. A 2006 case saw an Atlanta woman open fire on police who were wrongly executing a no-knock warrant on her home. She had mistaken them for home invaders and was killed. There was also the recent case of the Prince George, Maryland Mayor who was arrested and whose dogs were shot and killed in a wrongful drug raid.

It’s how the cops handled this situation after discovering their screw up that makes it unusual and bitterly comical. Instead of a formal apology and a promise to take care of the damages, the cheeky officers allegedly left a message on the fridge with the 2-year-old’s play magnets reading simply: “Oldham Task Force Called.”

            Mr. West is asking for a new door and a formal written apology from the police. "I only moved into the street 11 days ago, because it's a quiet area, so I've had to go round to my neighbours and explain I'm not an idiot or a criminal. The back door boarded up makes it look like a crack house.”

That’s “Sir Penguin” To You, Proletariat Scum

[ap.google.com]

A 3-foot tall penguin who, along with his two predecessors, has been the mascot of the Norwegian King’s Guard since 1972 was knighted in August. The third such penguin to share the Nils Olav name and titles, this newest Nils was greeted with a royal ceremony on the occasion of his knighthood, thus proving that Europeans will find just about any reason to don the kingly regalia and flaunt in public, particularly if it helps make them look more ridiculous.

It’s a damn good thing these so-called “knights” of today are more ceremonial than utilitarian and aren’t actually expected to protect the European continent against invaders, otherwise you might see a front line consisting of (from left to right): Sir Elton John, Sir Paul McCartney, Sir Anthony Hopkins, and Sir Nils the Penguin. Like Grammys® and Nobel Prizes, the title of “Sir” has lost some of its glimmer…unless you’re a penguin, and in that case, it’s still pretty badass.